Wednesday, January 26, 2011

This time IS Different!

Before I left for New York last weekend, i complained of feeling the worst kind of deja vous. I was packing to return to New York 4 years and about a week after i made this journey last time. I know that i am not the same woman who started this road 4 years ago, yet still there was a fear. A fear that was real, even if I barely spoke it, of going backwards..

The lasting legacy of my first journey with ankle liposarcoma, is my health revolution. Making working out, triathlons, healthy eating and lifestyle an active choice for me everyday. Would prolonged bed rest undo that? Would I develop a fatalistic attitude that said that it didn't really matter? The few times i spoke these fears aloud, my friends pushed them aside, saying "Lisa, that's not you anymore." "you won't let that happen." still the fear was extant.

I talked my way into to getting to use the gym in NYC. I worked out right up until the night before surgery. I believed, but i worried.

A few days ago i asked the plastic surgeon if i could do some seated exercises while on bed rest. He said, no! Defeated, I didn't ask again until today. My OT said she'd work on it for me. Two hours later she returned with resistance bands. I was cleared! I exclaimed it on twitter, texted a friend, and did a quick 40 minute resistance band work out. It was easy, cause she didn't bring me the strongest bands, but it felt so good. To feel my muscles respond. to know that this fear could be relegated away from the forefront.

Thus, any lingering doubt about whether the new Dr.Lisa is here to stay is gone. I may be weakened, i may have sustained a blow, but I'll better it and be better for it. Somehow!


Jodi said...

Just shortened the bands up until you can get some with higher resistance.

Jodi said...

I meant shorten, of course.