..As in D for Doctor!
I last assumed responsibility for the care and lives of critically ill babies on January 10, 2011, nearly 9 months ago. Since that time, I have had a 14 hour surgery, spent weeks in the hospital, months in a wheelchair, months at rehab, and spent 8 months on pain meds due to the constant, constant pain in my foot. I have also completed 2/3 of the Malibu Tri and completed my first 10K run, committed to Team in Training to train for a half marathon.
Some may not understand how i could return to athletic endeavors before work, to those I ask "would you want your baby's doctor on pain meds?" The answer is easy, no way! I committed early on this process this time to not rush my return to work, to not renege on my Promise. I have tried to stay true to these promises.
So, today, I'll put my green scrubs back on and assume care at our smaller hospital to ease me back in. I'd be lying if I tried to deny that I am deeply nervous about this. What if I'm rusty? What if I'm in too much pain? What if my foot doesn't hold up? I could make myself crazy with the "What If's." The truth is I think I'm ready, my partners have given me the support I need in case I need an extra hand. It is time. Even if I feel a little like I am graduating from medical school all over again, except for the fact that I actually know what I'm doing. Still....
Wish me luck, please!
2 days ago